


The Hallucinating Pregnancy

by vallahwillbemyheaven



Series: Always-a-Girl!Michael Gangster AU [9]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: F/M, Hallucinations, Kidnapping, M/M, Pregnancy, always a girl!Michael
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-25
Updated: 2015-09-25
Packaged: 2018-04-23 08:23:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4869941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vallahwillbemyheaven/pseuds/vallahwillbemyheaven
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“What if you miss?” asked Ryan.</p><p>"Then I’ll just shoot him again.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Hallucinating Pregnancy

Mikie was so close to popping it was almost hysterical. At seven months pregnant, she looked like and overgrown watermelon and she was about 76 percent sure that she was not supposed to be this large. She had outgrown wearing the guys’ clothes and now either A. had to go naked or B. wear maternity clothes. Mikie did not want to wear maternity clothes ever.

She could have gone naked, sure; the penthouse was up high enough in the air that no one would have seen her other than the guys. Mikie just didn’t want to go naked without shaving, and she didn’t feel like shaking because she felt like a blimp. Maternity clothes ended up being the only answer, much to the fear of the guys due to Mikie’s mood swings.

Her mood swings, her cravings, and her morning sickness apparently got worse as time progressed. The mood swings were the scariest thing, however, due to Mikie already being an angry person before the pregnancy. It was like her boyfriends all scattered when a mood swing hit and they didn’t come back till an hour after it was over.

Aside from the side effects of pregnancy, everything else was wonderful. It wasn’t a lie that expecting mothers glowed with joy, even if Mikie did feel 140 pounds overweight. She got too lazy around the house and watch TV while everyone else had to go and do dangerous jobs and, minus the overbearing worry something bad was going to happen to the guys, lazing around the penthouse was a pretty sweet deal for having to carry something that made you have to pee every five minutes.

Ryan, of course, was worried Edgar or someone was going to come after Mikie because she was pregnant. It would be just like Edgar to ruin their happiness like that, but Mikie had just rolled her eyes.

“I’ll shoot him if he tries. It’s not like he could make it up to the penthouse in any subtle way,” Mikie had argued.

“What if you miss?” responded Ryan.

“Then I’ll just shoot him again.”

Aside from that, there wasn’t really much to worry about, Mikie wise. Everything was set up for the baby, a toy chest had been stuffed full by Mikie herself, they hadn’t found out the gender of the baby because they wanted it to be a surprise. The father of said child was still a mystery and they might as well leave it that way.

Mikie found herself lounging around the penthouse, playing stupid games she honestly didn’t care about one day while everyone else was on a job to take out some supplier in Austin. Something about him messing with ‘family funds’ by taking up their precious ‘store front’. It didn’t honestly matter to Mikie; all she currently cared about is ketchup on her chips. One of her weird cravings that just happened to kick in when she was all comfy.

The bag crinkled as she got to the bottom of it and she groaned, completely unsatisfied with that ‘meal’. She didn’t bother getting up to throw it away, just trying to make it into the trash can. When she threw it, the chip bag went about two feet before sailing to the ground. Mikie blew a puff of air out of her mouth before going back to the game she was playing. She wasn’t even sure what it was called, but it was free so she was cool.

A creaking board startled Mikie, causing her to stand up slowly and point her gun in the direction of the noise. There was nothing there and Mikie made an annoyed face, pointing the gun down.

A creak came from behind her and she turned to see Edgar Rutherford. Mikie raised her gun and fired off a shot. When it didn’t hit she fired off another, and another. She emptied her gun of the four bullets, in fact, and none hit. She didn’t understand it, no bullets had hit and Edgar wasn’t moving. She shook her head to make sure she was seeing things correctly, and when she looked again Edgar was gone.

She immediately called Geoff, explained what had happened, and that there were some bullet holes in the wall. She luckily caught the guys right at the end of the situation they were in, so they were able to rush back.

A full search of the penthouse turned up nothing except for the fact that Mikie had shot the wall four times. Mikie was only a little shaken up by it, surprisingly, but maybe that was because Mikie had gotten used to so much shit over the years. Ryan chalked it up to hallucinations and just told Mikie to take a nap.

It didn’t happen again for a few days. The extra sleep was helping, plus the fact that she wasn’t alone since the guys didn’t have any real jobs to do. She had all but forgotten about the incident, distracted by video games and the guys’ annoyingly happy ‘father’ attitudes.

The thing was, the guys had to do a job about five days after the hallucination incident. Mikie decided that to prevent hallucinations, she was going to go out for an hour, get some fresh air, then come back and play video games. A walk in the park, a stop by the grocery store for a craving, and then she headed home.

She settled down for some TV with a pint of ice cream, gladly watching some lady drone on about this and that. She didn’t really feel like changing the channel because she felt like eating ice cream.

She fell asleep a few hours later with an empty pint of ice cream in her lap, the TV still droning on, and the guys no closer to being done with their job. She had a weird dream full of cars and bumps and kicks and she had no idea what that meant.

When she woke up, she was not in her living room. It looked more like a glorified cell with Edgar standing at the door. Her immediately reaction was to grab her gun and shoot him, but he clicked his tongue at her.

“I thought you would figure that I would have taken your gun, princess,” he said.

“Do not call me princess, fuckhead,” Mikie responded.

“Is that really the name you want to use? I didn’t even restrain you.”

“Yeah, and why the fuck am I here?”

“Simple. You’re with a baby that I’m sure those boys of yours would do everything in the world to protect. Ryan especially, I’m sure.”

“Is this really a ploy against Ryan? We’ve been down that path.”

“Mmmm, no. It’s a ploy for an heir. See, I’ve been presented with an interesting idea; I need someone to lead my little world after I’m gone and, since I am in no way interested in finding a woman, impregnating her, waiting nine months, and then having to do off with her, I thought it would be better if I found somewhere the process had already started.”

“So you thought a moody, seven months pregnant woman who needs to pee every five minutes and pukes every time she wakes up would make that process easier? You’re dumber than I imagined.”

“Not easier; quicker. I only have to wait two months for results with you, whereas I would have to go through the whole process with another woman who was fit for the job.”

“You’re a fuckhead.”

Edgar only grinned at Mikie before shutting the door to her glorified cell to leave her in her thoughts.

“Oh he is fucking hilarious if he thinks I’m just going to sit here and take this because I’m seven months pregnant. Fucking hysterical,” Mikie said, getting off the bed she woke up on to explore the room. She could hear cars outside which meant they were close to the street. What she was interested in, however was finding something she could break a lock with. He had given her plenty of amenities to try with; a hairbrush, books, a loose brick.

Mikie was sure Edgar hadn’t noticed that when he put her in here and it was her leg up. Now, the other things she needed were a weapon and phone. It wasn’t like she could flee from the scene, after all.

Mikie was not in the business of being the damsel in distress. She was more in the business of busting up knuckles and firing bullets. She was not going to sit in a cell because Edgar told her to.

It took her two weeks to convince Edgar she would play the part, however. It was her plan; trick Edgar into thinking she really was a damsel in distress and then knock him out cold and call the guys to come pick her up. There was no way she was going to risk getting shot up by Edgar’s little henchmen when she was carrying a baby, after all.

When she finally convinced Edgar to come into her cell, her immediate move was to pin him to the wall and cut off his air. While she was working at it, she pulled his phone and called the guys.

“Mikie?!”

“What, no hello Geoff? Really?” Mikie asked, slightly strained with the amount of force she was using to hold Edgar still.

“Where the hell are you!”

“Uh, well, let’s recap the two weeks’ events. I got kidnapped by Edgar, woke up in a glorified prison cell, was told that I was pretty much here because Edgar wanted a baby, and now I’m pinning Edgar against a wall. If it helps, I can hear a lot of cars but I honestly do not know where I am. Track Edgar’s phone or some shit, you’ve got Gavin after all.”

Geoff grumbled over the phone and Mikie chuckle, winded. “You would not believe how hard it is to hold Edgar against a wall. Please hurry up, I need somewhere fucking comfortable to sleep.”

“Why the fuck is that your biggest concern?”

“Because Edgar just blacked out, I don’t have a weapon, and there is no way I am walking through a whole bunch of Edgar’s henchmen. So, I’m complaining about my back. Ya know, due to the fucking bed.”

It took the guys a good few hours to actually get to Mikie, but what can you do when there’s an irate pregnant woman yelling at you over the phone. Especially in a dream, where a combination of odd video games, a lack of sleep, and the guys being gone a caused a dream that had spiraled from Mikie’s earlier hallucination.


End file.
